2.) How important are relationships to you?
I don’t have very good relationships within my family, so it’s the people I get to choose and the people they care about that I tend to put the most emphasis on. I’m generally considered/mistaken for a loner, since I find small talk and large gatherings of strangers uncomfortable, and I’m prone to reading in public, eating my meals alone, and avoiding people I don’t find interesting. I, admittedly, do like to spend time alone—my boyfriend is probably the only person I want to share my, “me-time”, with—but I also like to spend time in good company.
3.) Do you think being friends with your spouse/significant other is important?
I think you have to be friends, because, otherwise, it’s just sexual chemistry with someone you don’t actually like… that is, assuming neither person is in it for such things as money, power, revenge, etc. Those don't necessarily call for sex appeal.
4.) Is it healthy for couples to spend time apart?
In the long run, I’d say at least a few days apart a week is probably going to do more to help than hurt. It would probably give you more things to talk about and a wider variety of experiences to bring to the table... Besides, how are you going to appreciate someone if you never spend enough time apart to miss them? I would rather go out and adventure together, but, realistically, life is unlikely to afford me that luxury.
5.) What are the differences between romance and love? love and friendship?
Romance is either a way to get someone to, at least, think they love you, or a way to remind someone that you love them. Doing something that shows you love or care could be considered romantic, even if it's not flowery. (e.g. I think it's romantic that Will keeps a couple games I like installed on his computer, even though I know he doesn't play them and hasn't got tons of free space.) Friendship and love are so closely intertwined… I’d say you love your friends, but you don’t want to have a sexual relationship with them; if you’re in-love with someone, I’d say you’re friends with them, and you want to jump their bones.
6.) Are you married? If yes, how long?
No.
7.) Are you currently involved in a relationship? How long?
Yes; about four months.
8.) When you have a personal problem, to whom do you turn?
I pray and mull things over. If I need physical reassurance, I go to my boyfriend or one of my few close friends. I’ll accept comfort, but I need to find my own solutions, usually.
9.) What qualities do you find attractive?
He needs a sense of humor and intelligence; he should be affectionate, compassionate, and at least a little shameless. The night we met, when I saw Will do this mocking, uninhibited little dance to a lame pop song in front of a room full of his friends, I knew I wanted to know more about that one. (Of course, I was already ogling him, so it's not really like I was watching what everyone else was doing at the time.)
10.) How important is physical beauty in attraction?
It’s important, definitely, but I think that if you find someone’s personality attractive, it magnifies how physically attractive they are. On the other hand, appearance is the first thing that attracts most people to each other, so it’s possible that, over time, you just become more aware of what you originally found appealing, and their personality enhances that. Also, this is one of my only—recognized— bigotries... I find overweight men feminine, and thus more relative than attractive.
11.) Can you love someone without intimacy?
I don’t think love is dependent on sex, though, I’d imagine, sex is probably better with love. Also, I'm almost certain my grandparents stopped doing the, "wild thing", before I was even born, but I know they loved each other. And, what about all the cases of unrequited love? I'm pretty sure they aren't getting any, but they'd still throw themselves in front of a bus for the object of their affection, right?
12.) How important is intimacy to a successful, long-term relationship?
I’m not sure. Personally, I’d say it’s damn important, but what do I know? I don't have the degree of experience required to realistically take a stance on this.
13.) Do you think sex is appropriate before marriage? Have society's views on this changed since you were younger? Have your views changed?
I try not to be a hypocrite—when I can help it—so I’d say it’s… recommendable? I dunno… everyone has to choose what’s right for them. When I was little, the question of when sex would be appropriate, based on marital status, never even crossed my mind. As for change, I’d make the assumption that premarital sex is more common than it was back in the proverbial day.
14.) What does it take to make a relationship work?
Patience, understanding, and compatibility.
15.) Is it true that "opposites attract"?
I’d say so, to some extent. e.g. Will and I approach most things from opposite directions, but we always seem to meet in the middle and agree, in some fashion. We have similar interests, though that probably isn't as important to me as it is to him. He's passionate and informed, where I'm—more often than not— apathetic and reclusive. His opinions are infectious. His presentation of info is always persuasive, articulate, and researched. At the same time, if we didn't have anything in common, that would, ostensibly, just make me his peculiar little admirer, wouldn't it?
16.) Should individuals have to "settle"?
If, “settle”, is considered to be committing, I’m all for that. If it’s trying to clip someone’s wings because you want them to give up their dreams for yours, no. If, “settle”, means settle on someone you don’t really want, that just makes you a terrible person; either you are delusional enough to believe you can change people against their will, or you’re selfish and weak enough to buy into your own insecurities, subsequently burdening some poor sap with a relationship that can’t truly be anything but one-sided.
17.) Who should be financially dominate/supportive in a relationship?
Um… someone is probably going to make more money than someone else, but there should be as much balance as possible. No one should be the default cash-cow.
18.) At what age should marriage be seriously considered?
It varies from person to person.
19.) Should couples live together before getting married?
I don’t have anything to base an opinion off of, but I suppose there is some merit to the idea.
20.) What are the roles and duties of a woman in a marriage?
It is dependent upon how they agree to do things.
21.) What are the roles and duties of a man in a marriage?
(see previous)
22.) Would you say the man should be considered the head of the household?
I’d say, “head of the household”, is a title to be shared by married couples, unless a different arrangement is what works for them.
23.) Who should be the primary caretaker of any offspring?
Ideally, both parents.
24.) What do you think of stay-at-home dads? Moms?
That would be great. It wouldn’t really be socially acceptable—nor especially prudent—to make that one of my main goals, though, eh?
25.) Should spanking be used as a method of punishment [for children]?
No matter how effective it is, I don’t think a child should have to fear being hurt by adults, especially his or her parents. If all you teach them is that they get hit when they do something, and not why they shouldn’t do it, they aren’t learning anything, really. Find a non-abusive, constructive way to create the subconscious aversion to bad behavior. Make them clean something. I spent years cowering in fear of my grandfather every time he walked in a room, spoke, or came near me, without even remembering why. Turns out he took a belt to my bum when my sister pissed him off something awful. The slow accomplice always take the licks, eh? :P Still, if/when I get there, who knows? I'm looking at this from the kid's perspective. I might turn out to be an awful mother.
26.) What are your views about divorce?
What can I say? It’s unfortunate. Most people who get divorced probably got married for the wrong reasons, and without sufficiently getting to know the person before marrying them.
27.) In case of a divorce, who should be awarded custody of the children?
The parent who is most likely to take care of and love them should get custody. It would be nice if there was a law that forced amicable visitation on whoever doesn’t. Then again, I guess not everyone is fit to parent… it’s going to be awful for the kids, no matter what.
28.) What do you consider infidelity?
I think I’d be almost as hurt to find out that my significant other was emotionally involved with another woman—in the same way he was with me—as I would be to find out that he was sexually involved with someone else, (which is actually what first comes to mind).
29.) Do you think you would be willing/able to forgive your significant other (for infidelity)?
I know it’s not very goodly of me, but… I doubt it. Maybe it’s because we haven’t been dating very long. Whether or not I could forgive him, it would be the first time in my life that I took advantage of a legitimate excuse to slap someone. (:D) Heh.
30.) Do you think it's O.K. to maintain individual friendships with people of the opposite sex once you are dating? Married? Explain.
Of course it is. If you aren’t confident enough in your relationship and/or yourself to be comfortable with that, and if you have so little faith in your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, you should probably rethink being with anyone–at least until you grow up a smidgen, eh?
