—NOTE: Don't bother clicking them; this is as big as the images get.—
Being the ignoramus that I am, I was blissfully unaware that it had begun. So, I smelled something cooking downstairs, after I got out of the shower. I went to check it out. That was my first mistake. We all know Dear Auntie isn't really much of a cook. Anyways, the tiny TV in the kitchen was turned on, and I didn't notice to what it was tuned until it was too late. Politics. Damn. But, I might as well try stomaching what she's made, right? So I sampled some of that, and managed to keep my mouth closed. It left a bad taste, though, so I got some leftover Chinese out of the fridge—as my uncle had just done—and went about fixing it up, zapping it, you know... Before my uncle or I could escape the room, dear Aunt Bev started in with her railing about McCain and Obama, and I began to remember all the reasons I hate politics, along with the people who froth at the mouth over them.
My food was ready–I could have just left the room. I didn't have to say anything. I mean, really, I think both senators are dishonest jerks who don't sincerely give two shits about the liberties and rights of individual citizens. The public of this country is full of idiots, though, and those two asinine bastards know it. Still, does that justify needlessly provoking someone I was earlier planning to ask a boon of? I suppose it was partly because my aunt's points weren't wholly invalid, and that irked me. I don't like being spoken to in an angry tone, with words that are half enlightening and half stupid, unless I've done something to deserve it. Finally, I just muttered that I hated politics, and left the room chanting, "I take it back, I take it back!" And I do. This country is like an 11 year old boy with a bunch of level 70s, on a moderator account. It doesn't really matter what you think of him, because, even though he's a complete idiot, he has a massive guild, and he ownz your ass.
My hair is falling out a lot more rapidly this time, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I really don't want to go back to the little comb-over I had going for the area around my mini cowlick. The skin on my hands started to show those little tears that look like a rash during drilling ceremony reviews we were doing outside, in JROTC. There are a couple of other side-effects that I find too embarrassing to mention, but I know how to remedy at least one of those. At first, there was a discernible change in my moods, and the muscles of my lower back knotted up like I'd taken a good spinal beating with a cinder block. I'm still a bit irritable, but that's both manageable and likely due in equal part to a conglomeration of other factors, such as my poor sleeping habits, diet, exercise, and I've never been a big fan of the screechy TAG underclassmen who just always seem to be a few feet closer than I want them to be. The damage those little brats have done over the past year—and seem content to continue doing—to my eardrums can never be undone. I don't want to be subjected to their twittering squeals about hamsters and their connection to Sasquatch. Alas, I digress...
So, as I was saying, I don't know if it's still worth it to take this stuff. I mean, it took care of my chest, upper arms, and my back quite effectively the first time. I'm just so oily. Maybe the only solution is to move to a drier climate, one more suited to my genetics... This drug doesn't seem like it's in my best interests anymore; I can pull a fair number of hairs off my arms and head without it hurting. I don't want my eyelashes to start falling out again, either. That was crushing. Still, I love staying clean for so long. Before I first started taking the drug, early last December, you could have literally greased a skillet with all the oil that my face built up within fifteen minutes of washing, and you'd probably have plenty left over. The idea of lotions and the like was abhorrent to me. I'm so OCD about personal hygiene, and, considering I hit puberty at ten, with things just getting worse each year, I can't decide what's most important to me: my hair (I'm so bad at retaining body heat as it is, could I even survive without the stuff? :P), or getting a break after almost eight years of never feeling clean. This is probably the kind of personal issue that isn't appropriate to discuss in one's blog, but it is genuinely one of the major undercurrents in my day-to-day...
Whatever. I'm exhausted. I didn't mean to spend so much time on this. I'm not going to go back through for a final edit. It's not like it's formal, anyways; there should be diorganization, tangents, and error. 'S not like anyone cares; if you do, just forgive me this time, yeah? (;i)
I give you my responses to the survey project I had to do for my psychology class. I must say, after how long it took me to finish, I feel a bit guilty for asking anyone else to do so, (though, I tend to answer everything like an essay question). So, I'm sorry for that.
1.) What do you think it means to love someone?
I’m still working out my definitions, but there are at least a few things I’m pretty sure of, thus far. When you love someone, you: 1.) want to be with them, no matter the circumstances, 2.) can’t help forgiving them, 3.) don’t just overlook their little imperfections–you love every quirk , oddity and blemish because they are part of the whole package. There has to be more to it, but I find I just end up with contradictions all over the place if I try to narrow it down any more than that.
2.) How important are relationships to you?
I don’t have very good relationships within my family, so it’s the people I get to choose and the people they care about that I tend to put the most emphasis on. I’m generally considered/mistaken for a loner, since I find small talk and large gatherings of strangers uncomfortable, and I’m prone to reading in public, eating my meals alone, and avoiding people I don’t find interesting. I, admittedly, do like to spend time alone—my boyfriend is probably the only person I want to share my, “me-time”, with—but I also like to spend time in good company.
3.) Do you think being friends with your spouse/significant other is important?
I think you have to be friends, because, otherwise, it’s just sexual chemistry with someone you don’t actually like… that is, assuming neither person is in it for such things as money, power, revenge, etc. Those don't necessarily call for sex appeal.
4.) Is it healthy for couples to spend time apart?
In the long run, I’d say at least a few days apart a week is probably going to do more to help than hurt. It would probably give you more things to talk about and a wider variety of experiences to bring to the table... Besides, how are you going to appreciate someone if you never spend enough time apart to miss them? I would rather go out and adventure together, but, realistically, life is unlikely to afford me that luxury.
5.) What are the differences between romance and love? love and friendship?
Romance is either a way to get someone to, at least, think they love you, or a way to remind someone that you love them. Doing something that shows you love or care could be considered romantic, even if it's not flowery. (e.g. I think it's romantic that Will keeps a couple games I like installed on his computer, even though I know he doesn't play them and hasn't got tons of free space.) Friendship and love are so closely intertwined… I’d say you love your friends, but you don’t want to have a sexual relationship with them; if you’re in-love with someone, I’d say you’re friends with them, and you want to jump their bones.
6.) Are you married? If yes, how long?
No.
7.) Are you currently involved in a relationship? How long?
Yes; about four months.
8.) When you have a personal problem, to whom do you turn?
I pray and mull things over. If I need physical reassurance, I go to my boyfriend or one of my few close friends. I’ll accept comfort, but I need to find my own solutions, usually.
9.) What qualities do you find attractive?
He needs a sense of humor and intelligence; he should be affectionate, compassionate, and at least a little shameless. The night we met, when I saw Will do this mocking, uninhibited little dance to a lame pop song in front of a room full of his friends, I knew I wanted to know more about that one. (Of course, I was already ogling him, so it's not really like I was watching what everyone else was doing at the time.)
10.) How important is physical beauty in attraction?
It’s important, definitely, but I think that if you find someone’s personality attractive, it magnifies how physically attractive they are. On the other hand, appearance is the first thing that attracts most people to each other, so it’s possible that, over time, you just become more aware of what you originally found appealing, and their personality enhances that. Also, this is one of my only—recognized— bigotries... I find overweight men feminine, and thus more relative than attractive.
11.) Can you love someone without intimacy?
I don’t think love is dependent on sex, though, I’d imagine, sex is probably better with love. Also, I'm almost certain my grandparents stopped doing the, "wild thing", before I was even born, but I know they loved each other. And, what about all the cases of unrequited love? I'm pretty sure they aren't getting any, but they'd still throw themselves in front of a bus for the object of their affection, right?
12.) How important is intimacy to a successful, long-term relationship?
I’m not sure. Personally, I’d say it’s damn important, but what do I know? I don't have the degree of experience required to realistically take a stance on this.
13.) Do you think sex is appropriate before marriage? Have society's views on this changed since you were younger? Have your views changed?
I try not to be a hypocrite—when I can help it—so I’d say it’s… recommendable? I dunno… everyone has to choose what’s right for them. When I was little, the question of when sex would be appropriate, based on marital status, never even crossed my mind. As for change, I’d make the assumption that premarital sex is more common than it was back in the proverbial day.
14.) What does it take to make a relationship work?
Patience, understanding, and compatibility.
15.) Is it true that "opposites attract"?
I’d say so, to some extent. e.g. Will and I approach most things from opposite directions, but we always seem to meet in the middle and agree, in some fashion. We have similar interests, though that probably isn't as important to me as it is to him. He's passionate and informed, where I'm—more often than not— apathetic and reclusive. His opinions are infectious. His presentation of info is always persuasive, articulate, and researched. At the same time, if we didn't have anything in common, that would, ostensibly, just make me his peculiar little admirer, wouldn't it?
16.) Should individuals have to "settle"?
If, “settle”, is considered to be committing, I’m all for that. If it’s trying to clip someone’s wings because you want them to give up their dreams for yours, no. If, “settle”, means settle on someone you don’t really want, that just makes you a terrible person; either you are delusional enough to believe you can change people against their will, or you’re selfish and weak enough to buy into your own insecurities, subsequently burdening some poor sap with a relationship that can’t truly be anything but one-sided.
17.) Who should be financially dominate/supportive in a relationship?
Um… someone is probably going to make more money than someone else, but there should be as much balance as possible. No one should be the default cash-cow.
18.) At what age should marriage be seriously considered?
It varies from person to person.
19.) Should couples live together before getting married?
I don’t have anything to base an opinion off of, but I suppose there is some merit to the idea.
20.) What are the roles and duties of a woman in a marriage?
It is dependent upon how they agree to do things.
21.) What are the roles and duties of a man in a marriage?
(see previous)
22.) Would you say the man should be considered the head of the household?
I’d say, “head of the household”, is a title to be shared by married couples, unless a different arrangement is what works for them.
23.) Who should be the primary caretaker of any offspring?
Ideally, both parents.
24.) What do you think of stay-at-home dads? Moms?
That would be great. It wouldn’t really be socially acceptable—nor especially prudent—to make that one of my main goals, though, eh?
25.) Should spanking be used as a method of punishment [for children]?
No matter how effective it is, I don’t think a child should have to fear being hurt by adults, especially his or her parents. If all you teach them is that they get hit when they do something, and not why they shouldn’t do it, they aren’t learning anything, really. Find a non-abusive, constructive way to create the subconscious aversion to bad behavior. Make them clean something. I spent years cowering in fear of my grandfather every time he walked in a room, spoke, or came near me, without even remembering why. Turns out he took a belt to my bum when my sister pissed him off something awful. The slow accomplice always take the licks, eh? :P Still, if/when I get there, who knows? I'm looking at this from the kid's perspective. I might turn out to be an awful mother.
26.) What are your views about divorce?
What can I say? It’s unfortunate. Most people who get divorced probably got married for the wrong reasons, and without sufficiently getting to know the person before marrying them.
27.) In case of a divorce, who should be awarded custody of the children?
The parent who is most likely to take care of and love them should get custody. It would be nice if there was a law that forced amicable visitation on whoever doesn’t. Then again, I guess not everyone is fit to parent… it’s going to be awful for the kids, no matter what.
28.) What do you consider infidelity?
I think I’d be almost as hurt to find out that my significant other was emotionally involved with another woman—in the same way he was with me—as I would be to find out that he was sexually involved with someone else, (which is actually what first comes to mind).
29.) Do you think you would be willing/able to forgive your significant other (for infidelity)?
I know it’s not very goodly of me, but… I doubt it. Maybe it’s because we haven’t been dating very long. Whether or not I could forgive him, it would be the first time in my life that I took advantage of a legitimate excuse to slap someone. (:D) Heh.
30.) Do you think it's O.K. to maintain individual friendships with people of the opposite sex once you are dating? Married? Explain.
Of course it is. If you aren’t confident enough in your relationship and/or yourself to be comfortable with that, and if you have so little faith in your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, you should probably rethink being with anyone–at least until you grow up a smidgen, eh?
I just wanted to say thank you to the people who sent me answers for my psychology survey-thing. It was very helpful, and I appreciate it.
Yeah, I went in the bathroom and cut most of it off. I haven't dried it, so I don't know yet if I did a good job. Pictures to come, even if I look like Joan of Ark from The Messanger---as I did last time I cut my own hair---, once I've recovered my camera from Will's desk.
[EDIT: I've decided I'm too lazy to make it up. So... here it is again. This time for serious, yeah?]
I've been given the task of interviewing people about their views on realtionships and marriage. I need a few people, ranging from the ages 1.) 22-30, and 2.) 40-up, to answer the following questions, which I've taken from the examples, studies I found online, and a couple I threw in there myself---so, forgive me if they are ordered strangely---. They are mostly geared toward heterosexuals, but that just reflects the bias of Ms. Mays, and society at large. Anyone is welcome to take part in this survey/interview-thing---unless they are under 22 or between 30 and 39 years of age---. I need responses as soon as possible; nothing submitted after the 20th is likely to be included in the study. They can be anonymous, provided age and gender are given. All subjects will be given test aliases, anyway. I'd really appreciate if you could mention, or link this to people who might be willing to participate. The more people I have, the better. You can post your answers here, or e-mail them to me at eryn.scott@gmail.com. Please title e-mails something along the lines of, "Psychology Questions".
Note: If a question does not ask for an explanation or elaboration, it is still acceptable (even encouraged) for you to provide such, as appropriate---I don't want to see any rants about how you've had your heart ripped out and have concluded that love is like, "the cake", i.e. a lie.
Questions
1.) What do you think it means to love someone?
2.) How important are relationships to you?
3.) Do you think being friends with your spouse/significant other is important?
4.) Is it healthy for couples to spend time apart?
5.) What are the differences between romance and love? love and friendship?
6.) Are you married? If yes, how long?
7.) Are you currently involved in a relationship? How long?
8.) When you have a personal problem, to whom do you turn?
9.) What qualities do you find attractive?
10.) How important is physical beauty in attraction?
11.) Can you love someone without intimacy?
12.) How important is intimacy to a successful, long-term relationship?
13.) Do you think sex is appropriate before marriage? Have society's views on this changed since you were younger? Have your views changed?
14.) What does it take to make a relationship work?
15.) Is it true that "opposites attract"?
16.) Should individuals have to "settle"?
17.) Who should be financially dominate/supportive in a relationship?
18.) At what age should marriage be seriously considered?
19.) Should couples live together before getting married?
20.) What are the roles and duties of a woman in a marriage?
21.) What are the roles and duties of a man in a marriage?
22.) Would you say the man should be considered the head of the household?
23.) Who should be the primary caretaker of any offspring?
24.) What do you think of stay-at-home dads? Moms?
25.) Should spanking be used as a method of punishment [for children]?
26.) What are your views about divorce?
27.) In case of a divorce, who should be awarded custody of the children?
28.) What do you consider infidelity?
29.) Do you think you would be willing/able to forgive your significant other (for infidelity)?
30.) Do you think it's O.K. to maintain individual friendships with people of the opposite sex once you are dating? Married? Explain.
I'll be very greatful to anyone who helps me by filling this out.
Note: This is in response to Will's comment, from my last post, which can be found HERE. It just got be so long and, ultimately, off topic, that I felt it deserved to be it's own, official post, as opposed to a comment.Yes, my brilliant plan to make them hate me, so I don't feel entitled to buy any of them anything for Christmas, is working... X3 'just kidding.
I spent hours listening to their songs (albeit among those of various other artists you like); how have I not been properly introduced? Just the other day, amongst the clutter of your desk, I saw that little list I made, oh-so-seemingly-long-ago. Anyways, if you want me to form a more positive association with your precious NIN, you'll either have to forcefully apply a tire iron to my head, or do something ridiculously endearing while their songs are vomiting in the background.
As for Death Cab, it is among the tastes I've acquired from you--like Thai food and politics... though, I still don't love politics. It's like watching temperamental children play Hungry Hungry Hippos. So, then, the voters are, (of course), the little balls the gluttonous hippos must consume, so that the child controlling their jaws can gather the most, and win the game. Not exactly a sport crowds flock to, am I right? But, if someone you respect, and enjoy listening to, points out the strengths and weakness of each child, and those of their respective hippo(s), it develops into a discordant science that just becomes impossible to ignore...
Bah, enough! I need to lay down for a bit before I start my Deutsch III, "project". (¬.¬)
With the "unabridged" version, I have to skip over most of the intro, because I'm just
not willing to sit around that long and listen to instrumental. The probability that my interest will be both captured and maintained by this version is decidedly greater...P.S. Will's taste in music just keeps rubbing off on me. Before you know it, I'm going to like more than
two Beatles songs, and NIN's Trent Reznor won't sound so 'ignorably' (if you will...) monotone.P.P.S. Not that I'm presumptuous enough to assume anyone---other than maybe William---is reading
this, but... to any Beatles fans, please note: I have said nothing that can, reasonably, be considered
[to be] in direct derision of all their other works. Forgive me, for my parent led me astray with 90s rock,
such artists as Bob Marley, The Gypsy Kings, Santana, Disturbed, and Nickelback, and by indulging
my sister's initial interest in whatever popular culture malarkey was playing on 104.1 KRBE (Houston
station--not even sure if it's still around) during my formative years.
P.P.P.S. To the NIN fans... just what you find attractive about a lead singer who can't sing, I'll never
know. (>X3)
I've started taking what's left of my Sotret, which I didn't finish because the dermatologist said I didn't need to come back anymore--I was through.
I had a multi-paragraph elaboration, but I decided it was more a personal journal than a blog. So... yep.
I don't feel inclined to paint a picture of who I think I am, or who I want others to believe I am. If you choose to do either, anyone worth associating with will, ultimately, realize one of the following: you're a liar, you're delusional, or you're a delusional liar. I believe everyone lives in their own versions of reality, because they are experiencing life from their own, individually unique perspectives, obviously. At the same time, we need to observe, inquire, and discuss how our personal realities relate to each other's, in order to find common ground and thus reinforce our definitions of reality. It would be pointless of me to sit here and tell you who I am in your reality, especially given that perceptions and people are both constantly evolving. Anything I believe to be true about myself may contradict what you already believe, because at least one of those factors (perception and the person being perceived) has undergone change without consulting the other. On the same note, any description of who I think I am today will probably contradict who I claim to be tomorrow ---I am approaching this time-line in a metaphorical sense, as I am probably still going to think I am God's (wasted) gift to English and Philosophy when I wake up tomorrow---.
Basically, I'm saying you just have to get to know me, because I'm not really sure myself.
OK, so I've spent the past few hours tinkering with this thing, and I'm satisfied. Now what? What do I put up here? It can't be anything personal, obviously --no innermost thoughts; I change my mind about such things far too often to want anyone reading about them. No one wants to hear the petty complaints someone else has against their daily lives, not when they have their own, so that's out. I find comfort in being a creature of habit, so it's not like I've got anything distinguishing to relay about my day-to-day, for the most part. The idea of creating records of my actions for others to freely access makes me a little nervous. I've made such a point of avoiding pop culture that I have no aptitude for discussing that. I spend a substantial amount of time thinking about people, but I can't really talk about that, either, since it would obviously include those who have access to this blog. What's left? I suppose I could just make things up...
On-and-off, over the years, I've been drawn to, "blogging", even though I can't so much as keep a diary. Maybe it's that failure isn't absolute until you give up. e.g. "OK, I've never made more than one or two posts per blog, but this time, this time, I will be interesting, and update consistently." Does it ever happen? No. But, there's always next time... (not to end on a cliché).
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